


Run Back to You

by kreamhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Johnyong if you squint hard, M/M, Multi, One Shot, Recovery, Therapy, are these tags even right, markhyuck, norenmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-08-26 00:58:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16671742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kreamhyuck/pseuds/kreamhyuck
Summary: “Mark, it’s okay. Calm down, breathe in.” Donghyuck ordered while Renjun whispered an “Is he finally going crazy?” with all seriousness. And it made Mark stretch a smile on his face, making Renjun contort his expression even more. “Oh no, Hyuck, he lost his mind!!” Renjun declared then. Mark laughed and laughed with tears flowing out of his eyes. He might as well just be crazy.





	Run Back to You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's my first time making an NCT fic and it's been 2 years since I last wrote. I’m just really stressed out and writing is a coping mechanism of mine. There might be a lot of inconsistencies so I apologize in advance.
> 
> This is non-betad by the way. And kind of rushed. So again, I apologize. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Update: I reread this and edited it right away. lol. Hope the flow is much better than before. I can't help much with the dialogues and the plot but I made it a little bit okay.. i guess.  
> 

“Who.. are you?”

 

Gasps echoed in the room as soon as he opened his mouth. He doesn’t know what kind of situation he is in, but there’s one thing he is sure of, he doesn’t remember anything. It’s just him with an empty mind in a room filled with crying people. The man who’s been by his side for the couple of minutes since he woke up as he noticed, was completely frozen, his eyes wide as his fists curls up the white gown he is wearing. Is he a doctor? “Are you a doctor?” He voiced out.

 

The man took too many seconds before bobbing his head for confirmation. The doctor opened his mouth probably to say something but closed it before he can. This man looks like he’s contemplating, swallowing amidst the face that looked like he realized something. “Do you know me?” he finally asked. “No.” he answered in a blink of an eye. And then there was silence. Too uncomfortable silence.

 

“Do you know who you are?” the doctor tries again. “No.” was all he could really answer.

“Well, I know you.” His eyes widened at the statement.

“Who.. am I?”

“You are Mark Lee.”

*

It has been 2 months since, and Mark Lee still haven’t recovered all his memories. But he’s been having constant progress, thanks to his Doctor and _supposed_ to be friend, Donghyuck. The doctor who was by him and talked to him on the day he woke up. He somewhat still clearly remembers the pained look on Donghyuck’s face, the crunch between his eyebrows with glazed eyes filled with unknown emotions to Mark. It’s as if he was blaming Mark with something he couldn’t fathom while staring through his bones. Unintentionally, all Mark knows he should do back then was to give Donghyuck a warm hug to take all his pain away, which he’s thankful today he didn’t do. To describe the doctor, Donghyuck was a warm ray of sunlight, someone who can make Mark bend his knees and give the world to him. That’s how strong Donghyuck’s façade was, until he met him a couple of times for therapy. Sure, he still thinks he will do everything Donghyuck asks. But that’s because he’s an evil little devil’s spawn.

 

The first few days of therapy was hell, as Mark recalls. Donghyuck is too sassy and combined with his sarcastic comments and too much love for skinship, it made Mark begging on his knees for his brother, Johnny, to change doctors. Johnny tried talking him out of it, for it was well known that Donghyuck was the best in the field, and as the doctor quoted: “Good looks, a genius, fine humor? I am the best you’ll ever get. And you really like me, so you can’t say no.” But since Johnny is an angel, he tried arranging a therapy session with another doctor. And that Doctor is another angel in Mark’s Life. Doctor Jaemin Na.

 

Jaemin has the most gorgeous smile in the world. it’s like a wide ray of pearly whites are trying to blind everyone in the vicinity. He also introduced himself as Mark and Donghyucks’ friend. And as Mark could tell, Jaemin is the friendliest person he knows post memory loss. He talks to everyone, smiles to everyone, _hugs everyone_. Jaemin especially likes hugging Donghyuck whenever they see each other in the hospital halls. And as much as he hates skinship, he just somehow failed to get friends that are of the same wavelength as him. But fate must have pitied him along the way for he discovers he has another friend like Jeno. Jeno, Jaemin and Donghyuck are all childhood friends and they met Mark in their University days, as they told him.

 

As hyper and touchy Jaemin and Donghyuck are, Jeno is the exact opposite. He is calm and reserved, only comments on things he deems important. The most skinship he gives is a reassuring pat on the back which Mark really appreciates. That, combined with his adorable eye smile, Jeno is Mark’s ideal friend. It’s just that, he is no fun at all.

 

“Je-no-Jam is a thing and I will never make you live out of it.” Donghyuck teased one time they were on Jeno’s café. They have another _therapy extension_ of Jaemin which Mark knew is a poor excuse for free dinner. “No free smoothie for you tonight.” Jeno smirked which made Donghyuck’s face contort into a sour expression, briefly mentioning “ _the days I helped your ass during university frat parties!”_ which made Jeno and Jaemin laughing out loud reminiscing the days.

 

That’s when Mark feels out of place. He knows he was there with them, they said so. But what should he do now that he doesn’t remember anything? It makes him tight lipped and lost. And for those times was when he was the most thankful to Donghyuck. He’s the first one to notice Mark’s discomfort, always trying to prompt a topic change. If Donghyuck saw anything from Mark’s expression, he doesn’t mention it.

 

Jaemin’s therapy sessions are fun and Mark actually started remembering things about himself. Vague memories of him and Jaemin stalking Jeno once in their uni days, Jeno inviting him to hit the gym, and Donghyuck calling him “seagull” to make fun of his eyebrows. Of all the memories he regained by far, he noticed that Donghyuck was a constant. Maybe because they were really good friends like how the doctor had said and he can somehow picture Donghyuck being mean to him from time to time. (read: everytime) But as much as he liked Jaemin’s sessions, there was something about Donghyuck’s sessions that Mark can’t quite make out of. While he was in Donghyuck’s care, he was in his most calm and probably vulnerable state. Maybe it was the ambiance in Donghyuck’s office, or the way yellow decorations are sitting on his shelves with sunlight falling over them. Or maybe it was Donghyuck himself and his wide smile and giggle and constant teasing that makes Mark giddy in the stomach. He can’t quite grasp it, but he knows he needs the devil’s spawn for him to recover his memories. And that’s when the back to back therapy with Donghyuck and Jaemin happened.

 

 

1 month through therapy, while Mark was walking down the aisle to get to Donghyuck’s office, a distant voice called out to him. “Oh my god, Mark! You’re alive!” his head whipped back to look at the owner of the voice and maybe he was dreaming but the man who’s walking towards him with teary eyes glowed over the dull fluorescent light as he enveloped him with a tight hug. Too tight Mark recalled. The man has too much strength for his tiny body. It struck to him then, that there’s this man his friends kept mentioning. His name is Renjun and he is Mark’s childhood best friend. Suddenly, his t-shirt felt damped and in a second, he was in panic mode. The man was sobbing so loudly, everyone in the hospital looked at them judgingly. So, Mark did what must be done. He goes to Donghyuck.

 

“Hyuck! Help me! He won’t come off!!” Mark screamed in help as he swung the door open, waiting for Donghyuck to help him or make fun of him because that’s what he usually does. What Mark didn’t expect was a wide eyed Donghyuck staring at the both of them, a bit disoriented. His expression was that as the day Mark woke up, and he can’t help but feel his stomach churning up. With the awkward silence and heavy sobbing, Renjun decided to unlatch himself on Mark and quickly ran to Donghyuck to give him one of his too strong of a hug. Shocked was an understatement if you asked Mark what he felt at that. Donghyuck started crying once Renjun was on him, whispering things Mark can’t hear and for the first time since he started his therapies, he started regaining some memories.

 

 

_“No Mark, you can’t watch me take a bath you dirty little thing.”_

_“How can you be so good at this?! You don’t even play that much!”_

_“Babe come on, Jeno needs us. He’s probably out there like a light.”_

_“I know you love me too much to make me wake up early on a Saturday.”_

_“Shut up, shut up!! You don’t understand me. You’re always doing this!!”_

_“I give up, Mark. I give up.”_

“..Mark?” Donghyuck’s voice filled the room and it brought Mark back to reality. Tears started gracing his cheeks and he can see the panic run through Donghyuck and Renjun’s features. “Mark, it’s okay. Calm down, breathe in.” Donghyuck ordered while Renjun whispered an “Is he finally going crazy?” with all seriousness. And it made Mark stretch a smile on his face, making Renjun contort his expression even more. “Oh no, Hyuck, he lost his mind!!” Renjun declared then. Mark laughed and laughed with tears flowing out of his eyes. He might as well just be crazy.

 

Explaining the things he recalled was quite a task. He’s not sure who, but the voice in his memories sounded erringly familiar. As he talked through, Donghyuck, and Renjun who refused to go out once the therapy started, claiming he’s been with Mark through his dark days, might as well have this opportunity to have blackmail material, stared occasionally at each other through the visions Mark recalled. Mark knew Renjun was being playful for reasons he doesn’t know why.

 

At the end of Mark’s backtracking, the room was filled with uncomfortable silence. Donghyuck was once again tight lipped and Renjun was fidgeting like crazy. Mark was about to break it when the door flung open, revealing a sweaty Jaemin who probably ran through the halls again. “Injun!” He shouts. Mark saw how Jaemin’s facial features turned from ecstatic to pure confusion when spots the three of them, sitting in awkwardness. Donghyuck was the first one to speak. “I can’t do this Min.” He all but whispers to Jaemin who now looks like he realized what’s going on. Donghyuck busted out of the room the second he finished his sentence, Jaemin quickly following him, leaving a stunned Mark and Renjun in the room.

 

“Hey, Mark.” Renjun started. Mark who is too confused to speak tried his best to look collected but failing as soon as he tried to formulate words. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” Renjun smiled. Mark felt Renjun’s concern and he immediately relaxed himself, slumping on his seat, staring at his feet.

Renjun knows Mark was having a really bad time with his situation. He can’t help but feel sorry for his best friend as guilt accumulates inside of him, knowing he wasn’t there and can’t be there when Mark was admitted in the hospital. He was in China doing business related things and he can only come back a month after. His heart squeezed in pain as soon as Donghyuck’s voice came through his phone on the day of Mark’s accident. “It was a hit and run” Donghyuck said with a strained voice. “He doesn’t remember me, Injun ah. He doesn’t remember us. Hell, he doesn’t even remember his own fucking name!” Donghyuck was shouting while Jaemin was whispering sweet nothings in the background to calm Donghyuck down.

 

He knows how Donghyuck was deeply affected with all of the things that’s happening. He knows the younger is probably out there, blaming himself. Renjun thought it’s going to be okay eventually since Jaemin and Jeno are there with him to console and comfort him in times of distress. They can handle things, he thought. But Donghyuck’s breakdown made Renjun think that maybe, Donghyuck needs more support than he initially thought. And that’s where he comes in the picture.

 

Renjun took something from Donghyuck’s table and reached for Mark’s hand. “I think this is yours.” He said. “I’m not sure if I’m doing things right, but I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for with this.” He continued, giving Mark a pat on the back and leaving him alone to ponder on things.

 

A silver necklace with a gold sun pendant. With all of what’s happening with Mark right now, Renjun decided it’s a good thing to add another one. He sighs in disbelief as he clutches the necklace and turned back on his heels to just call it a day.

*

“You know you can’t keep things from him, Hyuck.” Donghyuck hears Renjun walk inside Jaemin’s office. Both the doctors gave him a small smile.

“I know, but it hurts. A lot.” Donghyuck answered rather gingerly. Jaemin was quick to intertwine their fingers as he knows how Donghyuck is feeling. He probably blames himself again. He can see the creases forming on Donghyuck’s forehead and it makes Jaemin feel bad for him even more.

“You know it’s not your fault.” Renjun says and Jaemin felt Donghyuck squeeze his hand harder.

“No Injun-ah. We all know it is. We all know what I did to make this shit happen. It’s my fault Markie’s like this and it fucking hurts to see him stare through me like he knows deep inside it was me who did such a thing to him.” Donghyuck’s voice falters at the last sentence, tears once again making their way on his cheeks. They’re a bit hollow now, Renjun noticed. It was far from the Donghyuck he came to know. Renjun can see the stress eating him away. The Donghyuck who usually came to work with a proud grin, his high-pitched whining resonating through the office whenever Renjun refuses his hug and his sunny smile which was always present has now turned into a forced smirk, too poor of an excuse to smile. Jaemin shushed him sweetly, knowing he can’t say anything to Donghyuck when it comes to these things, so he eyes Renjun who had always been better with words. He’s the most trusted out of all of them whenever there’s break downs and he just knows that Donghyuck trusts him the most.

“Hyuck, believe me, it’s going to be okay.” Renjun says as placed a kissed Donghyuck’s forehead. 

*

Another month passed by and things slowly falls back to place. Mark was still having his therapy sessions with Donghyuck and Jaemin, and If one of them remembers the day Renjun came back to Korea, no one dared to say a word. Today was one of Jaemin’s “Extended therapy session” and the five of them are seating by the corner of Jeno’s café. It’s Pizza night, Jeno claimed.

 

“You’re really fond with that necklace, huh.” Renjun grinned at Mark making the latter flustered, gripping his pendant with more strength. It was the necklace Renjun gave him that day and Mark can’t make anything out of it, but he’s somehow attached, playing it unconsciously whenever. Donghyuck perked up at that, digging glaring holes through Mark’s necklace. He’s been doing that lately, Mark thought. Ever since Donghyuck saw the necklace dangling on Mark’s neck, the doctor always gives it a knowing stare. “Yeah, I feel like it’s something important to me.” He replied.

“Okay, I know you guys are being soft, but someone is hungry here.” Donghyuck interrupts, earning a groan from the rest of the group. He laughed it off and then everyone’s back to their usual sappy self.

 

Halfway through their meal, Mark received a text from Johnny telling him he can’t come home that night for he has some _business_ to do with Taeyong, his boyfriend, and coincidentally, Donghyuck’s older brother. Jeno choked on his fries as soon as Mark told them the acquired information.

“There is no way I’m letting you go home! You are sleeping with me!” Donghyuck shouts and Mark’s heart made a tiny weird jump. Jaemin beams at them saying “Oh my god it’s about time we have a sleep o-” but he was cut off with a slap in his shoulders by Renjun.

“You’re on graveyard shift young man. There’s no sleep over happening.” Jaemin pouted adorably while Jeno laughs. “You heard your mom Jaeminie. Now pack up, you’re going to be late.” Donghyuck smirks at him. And Jaemin being the mature person he is, sticks his tongue out.

*

The five of them parted ways after dinner. Jaemin together with Renjun since the hospital was on the way back to Renjun’s apartment and Mark following Donghyuck to the where he parked his car while Jeno waves them all goodbye as he closes his café. It’s Marks’ first time visiting any of his friend’s home. So, he can’t help but feel excited. He had always wondered how Donghyuck acts away from work, and this is a perfect opportunity to discover little things about the doctor. As Mark was about to climb over, he stopped on his tracks to stare at the thing currently occupying the seat.

“What are you doing? Get in.” Donghyuck ordered but then he saw Mark smiling at the Lion plushie sitting by his car, cursing inwardly for forgetting about it as his heart clench in pain. His eyes took turns from Mark to the Lion plushie until he grabbed it, deciding to throw it to the back seat but his hands were stopped by Mark’s own, familiar warmness overtaking his skin.

“I’ll just hug it!” Mark smiles. And, oh, does it make Donghyuck’s heart rip into pieces.

 

“Didn’t know you were a plushie guy.” Mark said, earning a chuckle from Donghyuck.

“What do you even mean by that?”

“I thought you were more into like.. voodoo or something.” It was Mark’s turn to chuckle. He tightened his hold on the Lion plushie, and if only he was a bit observant, he would have noticed the grimace forming on Donghyuck’s face, how Donghyuck gripped the stirring wheel too tightly that his kniuckles started turning white, and how there’s a longing gaze that fell upon him.

“It’s not mine, someone gave it to me.” Donghyuck said, a bit softer on the tone.

“Oh?” Mark tightened his grip on the plushie. There’s a bit of tugging inside his heart and he really can’t figure out what he’s supposed to feel. “Who? Jaemin?” Mark asked, knowing how Jaemin loved collecting plushies, given his huge collection of an orange character at his office.

“No. It’s- It’s from my boyfriend.” Donghyuck said it too quietly, Mark almost didn’t hear it. _Almost._ Mark was stunned, as no one told him about Donghyuck having a boyfriend.

“Oh.” Is all Mark could say.

*

Donghyuck’s apartment was, in Mark’s surprise, pretty normal. Unlike his office which was beaming with colorful decorations and furnitures, Donghyuck’s apartment was the opposite. No overly decorated shelves, walls painted dirty white, his brown leather sofa was a cliché. But it’s too big for a single person to live.

“You don’t cook?” Mark grinned at the sight of Donghyuck’s kitchen because It seems like it was never meant to be there.

“I do. I just don’t do it often now.” The doctor replied.

“Oh, why?” Curiosity overtakes Mark while Donghyuck only ever hummed. It took a few heartbeats before he responds. “Because I live alone?” Donghyuck laughed, a bit low. “I used to cook for... for two people before. I just don’t find it in myself to cook now. There’s no urge, I think? No one to impress?” Donghyuck chuckles but there’s obvious sadness laced on his tone.

“What do you mean by alone?” Mark voiced out. Just then, he looked at the apartment, collecting his thoughts as it’s not right to dwell on things he thinks are too sensitive for Donghyuck to answer, but he decides against it.

“Are you, by chance, living with your boyfriend? Oh my god, am I intruding? Is he somewhere else at the moment?” And then Donghyuck was laughing again. The same sadded tone still in use.

“Why are you so curious?” Donghyuck asked, until he continues

“Let’s just say he moved out. We are not on good terms, okay? We’re on.. a phase. Or something.”

“Wow, Your boyfriend sucks. No offense. But he sucks for leaving you alone like this.” Mark says it genuinely as he shrugs and turn on his heels to see the living room. He misses the way Donghyuck froze, dazed out on Mark’s way, a smile finding its way on the doctor’s face.

“No offense taken.” Donghyuck says.

*

It was fun, Mark thought. Staying with Donghyuck. His apartment felt homey and Donghyuck himself felt homey. Instead of going straight to bed, Donghyuck decided that it’s better to have a movie marathon instead. He even let Mark pick the movie because “why not? You’re the guest here.” He reasoned out. Contemplating between movies, Donghyuck offered him a change of clothes, he obviously doesn’t own. Mark felt pissed about wearing a strangers’ clothes, which could even possibly belong to Donghyuck’s boyfriend and he is not fond with the idea.

“I don’t want to wear your boyfriend’s clothes.” Mark said it while making a face. It made Donghyuck smile, his eyes crinkling up into crescents which Mark thought was too pretty for a sight.

“Silly, it’s your clothes. You… left them here when you slept over… once.” Donghyuck chuckles. Mark raised an eyebrow at that.

“I.. slept over here?”

“Yeah.”

“Just the two of us?” Mark asked again.

“Yes, how many questions do you still have?” Donghyuck giggles at him, his eyes glowing.

“And your boyfriend is okay with that?” Donghyuck halts. He obviously did not expect the question but he still gave him a small smile. And this time, the smile was devoid of sadness. It only felt fond and loving, and Mark feels his heart growing bigger and bigger at every passing moment

“Can’t you just pick a movie? Do I even have to help you with that, you big baby?” Donghyuck teased. And Mark felt his heart burst at the pet name.

*

Morning came, and Mark woke up with the smell of something being sautéed. Garlic, Mark guesses. His stomach was overtaking his brain as Mark got up, barely opening his eyes. Funny, he thinks, because he seems to know his way through Donghyuck’s apartment as his feet drags him to where the smell is coming.

“Good morning.” He greets, trying his best not to sound sleepy but evidently failing.

“Morning” Donghyuck chuckles.

“Fried rice?”

“Yes, your favorite.” Donghyuck replies. It’s too early for Mark’s heart to flip out of his chest, but hell with that. He’d rather have an over-functioning heart if he can wake up with Donghyuck every day.

*

It’s about time, Donghyuck thinks. Maybe he should tell Mark everything. No, he will tell him everything. They have been discussing about Mark’s condition, on how they’ll make it easier for him to regain everything without making him feel uncomfortable.

“Can’t we just tell him everything now?” Jeno has asked, concern filling his voice.

“We can’t just bombard him with information.” Jaemin was the one who answered. “It’s better to fill him in day by day so he can cope up without straining himself.”

Renjun just sighed, a bit worried. He knows that Donghyuck and Jaemin knows what they’re doing, but he thinks there’s a better way. And honestly, it’s not just Mark who feels lost and strained. If there’s someone who’s having it worse, it’s Donghyuck. He’s the one who feels the most burdened, blaming himself every day, whining to Jaemin whenever he catches Mark looking at him like he doesn’t have amnesia, and it makes Donghyuck want to punch him in the face or kiss him all over. He’s conflicted on doing both, he says.

But what can Renjun do, really? He’s not a doctor unlike Donghyuck and Jaemin. He’s just a best friend. Support is all he can give. Moreover, it’s not him nor Jaemin or Jeno who can give Mark the memories he would want. It’s Donghyuck. The most important person to Mark. The one whom Mark had the most memories with, either be it good or bad. Donghyuck himself is the most treasured memory of Mark, his one missing puzzle piece. His almost 11-year of a boyfriend. Renjun curses inside. He’ll let them do it their way.

“If one day,” Renjun was distracted with the sound of Jeno’s voice. “There’s this moment where you feel like Mark is giving you the signal to tell him everything, if you ever feel like he’s the Mark who loves you the most, as if there’s no accident that had happened, no memories lost, promise me that you’ll tell him.” Jeno continued and Renjun has never thanked the Gods for them to have Jeno in their little circle. “He deserves to know you, Hyuck.”

*

Mark was distracted from his thoughts when he felt a hand touching his cheek, sleep no longer clouding his mind.

“Wake up.” Donghyuck ordered with a cheeky smile. He’s now sitting beside him, not across the table where Mark expected him to be.

“Oh.” Is all Mark could say earning a giggle from Donghyuck.

“Has anyone ever told you, you look adorable in the morning?” Donghyuck asked, tilting his head, his pretty smile still evident on his features. Mark would slap himself if he can because no matter how he thinks, Donghyuck is being a flirt. It wasn’t his intention, no. But as if he was being manipulated by some forces, his hand moved on his own as he cups Donghyuck’s cheeks, smiling back at him. He let out a small giggly laugh before closing the distance from their lips, smiling between small pecks. Maybe Mark’s brain was going haywire when he chose to deepen the kiss, earning a groan from the doctor. Mark could feel both his and Donghyuck’s temperature rise, their hearts beating at a much faster rate, it can just jump out of their throat. His free hand moves to Donghyuck’s nape, squeezing it ever so lightly, caressing it carefully, gently, like it’s the most fragile thing in the world. _He’s so cute_ , Mark thinks. His mind is now filled with Donghyuck. Donghyuck and his cute button nose, Donghyuck and his heart shaped lips, Donghyuck and his tanned skin, his bright personality, his love for skinship, his whining, oh Mark could just list the things he likes about Donghyuck, and it would not end. Mark moved on to make small bites on Donghyuck’s jaw, mouthing down his neck.

“I love you.” Donghyuck whispered so strained, so soft, and so hesitatingly. It was so clear, so loud in Mark’s ears. Then it hit him. Like waves crashing the sea. Reality really makes him snap out of it. Damn it, he thinks. How could he even do this? Donghyuck has a boyfriend, and it’s not him.

Guilt is faster before his senses could overtake him. He pulled away so fast it left Donghyuck with a pair of wide eyes.

“Mark, I-“ Donghyuck starts, trying to cup Mark’s face but the older was quicker than him, slapping his hands away.

“I’m sorry Hyuck, we should not do this.” Mark said as he stands up rather rushed.

“No, no, It’s okay-“ Donghyuck tries, but Mark was already stepping away.

“No,” Mark intervenes, continuing to back away. “You don’t love me okay? And I.. I like someone else.” Mark lies through gritted teeth. Donghyuck, who refused to understand the words that just left on Mark’s lips stare at him in disbelief.

“Mark Lee. What are you-“

“I like Renjun.” Mark shouts, his hands balling into fists. Donghyuck scoffed so hard, he almost choked on air. He can feel his eyes tearing up, as betrayal stab his heart out.

“You what?” He asked, a bit angry on his tone.

“I like him, hyuck. I’m sorry.” And then Mark ran.

*

“I’m going to kill you. Get your ass here, right now!” Renjun shouts through the speaker of the phone before ending the call. He needs a new best friend, he though. He will n ot accept a dumb lying Mark as his. Frustrated, he calls Jeno.

“Close your café, Hyuck needs you right now.” He orders.

“Eh?” Jeno replies instantly. Renjun chuckles at Jeno’s mannerism whenever the guy is confused.

“Mark told Hyuck he likes me. Oh my god, I’m having second hand embarrassment, don’t ever make me say that again.” Renjun spouts.

“What?! Oh my god, Injun, I’m going to kill Mark!” Jeno shouts playfully. He can even hear the younger laugh despite him trying to muffle it.

“Oh, is that a new kink?” Renjun teased.

“Shut up. I’m going to kill him for hurting my best friend and for flirting with my boyfriend.” Renjun can imagine how Jeno’s smirking on the other side of the line.

“Will you? God, please relay this to Jaemin, I want both of you to doing task. I need a new best friend anyway.” Renjun says.

“Will do boss!” and at that, he ended the call. This is going to be a difficult day for everyone, Renjun thinks.

*

The ride to Renjun’s apartment was awfully embarrassing. Mark mentally scolds himself as he tries to cover his exposed legs through prying eyes. Not only did he leave Donghyuck, probably angry and fuming, he also left his clothes. Now he’s walking with his boxers and a white old t-shirt. He even have to explain things to Renjun because his best friend, whom he supposed would side with him demanded to know everything “ _Now”_ if Mark wants to be welcomed in his home.

*

Mark closed his eyes as he took a bus to Renjun’s apartment. Again, it seems like his brain have been regaining specific details at emergency situations which he appreciates. He needs to breathe. He needs to clear his mind. But his thoughts betray him because all he can ever think of is Donghyuck, hurt evident in his eyes, pleading Mark to take his words back. He felt tears trying to escape his eyes. Donghyuck doesn’t deserve what Mark did to him. He deserves the world. He deserves everything wonderful and beautiful and everything Mark isn’t is. It’s much better if Mark wasn’t in the picture. It’s perfect if Donghyuck has never met him. No Mark to make him cry, no Mark to shout at, No Mark trying to push away his hugs, no Mark to make him invalidate himself just because of some petty fights. It’s really shocking how Mark’s brain function because seconds later, he’s sobbing his eyes out as his heart wreck in pain. He started remembering.

*

 _“Shut up, shut up!! You don’t understand me. You are always doing this!!”_ Donghyuck screams as Mark tries to repress the sound in his ears. He doesn’t know when things started getting out of hand. Their fights got frequent and pettier day by day. They refused to talk it out, sleeping away from each other. Donghyuck was always the one to get out of the house. He always took refuge on Jeno’s apartment and it makes Mark so mad. This time, this fight, he tells himself, he’ll have the upper hand. Donghyuck was about to leave the house when Mark started spitting out words he never thought would leave his mouth.

“You’re going out again? Going to Jeno’s? to Jaemin’s? Oh God Hyuck, can’t you be a little more mature and fucking end this now?”

Donghyuck who was by the door, huffing, slowly made eye contact with Mark. His eyes evidently hurt. “You want me to fucking what?” He hissed.

“Now you’re going to do that?” Mark shouts with a strain on his voice. His head really hurts and his knuckles are sore from gripping so hard.

“You’re so selfish Donghyuck! You always do things on your own! I was just trying to help, but you’re just too fucking stubborn to even listen!” Mark knows his words feels like a stab. He knows because it’s hurting him too. But he can’t stop himself from throwing them towards the direction of the man he knows he loves more than himself.

At this point, Donghyuck was speechless. His mouth was ajar, as his body trembles in anger. It’s a painful view. But Mark is just halfway through. “Maybe it was better if we weren’t together. Maybe it was even better if you and I didn’t meet! At least then, we’re not tired of each other because we don’t know each other in the first fucking place!”

“You want that?” Donghyuck finally spoke. Tears are still flowing like a river, and Mark just wants to kiss them away. But his pride won’t let him be.

“Maybe.” He lies.

“Yeah? Is that so? Then you’ll go to Renjun?” No, Mark thought. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

“Hyuck-“

“Go.” Donghyuck cuts in. His eyes now glued on the floor.

“Go to him now. I know I’m the reason why you guys broke up in the first place.” No, Mark wants to say. It wasn’t Donghyuck. It wasn’t just working out for them then. It’s just Mark’s mistaken feelings for his best friend. There’s no love in there. Just infatuation. Besides, Renjun has Jeno and Jaemin now. And he knows Donghyuck was not that shallow to use that against him.

“Hyuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of those. I’m sorry, yeah?” Mark tries. Tiptoeing towards the love of his life albeit the shaking of his knees.

“I give up, Mark. I give up.” Donghyuck finally said, as he stares right at Marks’ widening orbs.

“You didn’t mean that.” Mark’s voice is now hoarse from trying to stop himself from crying. He reached for Donghyuck’s hand but the younger flinched even before contact.

“Hey, babe, I’m sor-“

“Go. Leave me alone. I just- want to rest.” And then the door was shut with Mark standing outside of their apartment. He stares at it. Guilt finally spreading in him like a wild fire. He sighs. He’s just so tired. He can feel his head throbbing as he run a hand through his hair. “It’s going to be okay” he tells himself. “We’ll talk it out tomorrow.” But tomorrow never came because the last thing he saw were headlights blinding him.

*

Renjun was startled when he heard his door flung open. It was a shivering Mark looking like a lost puppy entering his household. “You! What are you wearing?!” he asks him out of concern, but Mark was out of it. He’s not answering, only looking somewhere else but Renjun. Renjun was about to pull him inside when Mark started crying.

“It’s my fault Injun-ah.” His best friend says through tears. Confused, Renjun carefully chose his words.

“It’s okay, It’s not.” He assures Mark.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to him. I shouldn’t have lied. I should have just kissed him and said sorry, but it was my pride.” Mark continues as he hugs himself, trying to stop his body from trembling.

“Is this from this morning? Renjun questions, but Mark shook his head. And finally, their eyes met.

“I hurt him so much and I didn’t even remember him after that accident. I’m constantly breaking his heart, Injun-ah. And it fucking hurts me even though I don’t deserve it.” Renjun lets out a sigh. Maybe he can kill his best friend next time. Today, he needs a hug. By then, Renjun knows everything will be okay.

*

“I’m so dumb.”

“Yes, you are.” Jeno said, earning a punch from Donghyuck. Despite that, he tightened his hug to make Donghyuck feel calmer. It’s a coping mechanism, Donghyuck once said. That’s why he loves hugging people. To lessen his stress.

“Min’s coming over after his shift.” Jeno continues, as Donghyuck just hums. The morning went really bad. Donghyuck can’t even grasp how it happened in the first place. Maybe flirting wasn’t the right thing to do. But Mark has been constantly giving him _that_ look and what can Donghyuck do? He’s just a fool in love. It makes the heavy burden in him feel lighter. It’s as if Mark was telling him that he’s forgiving him.

But then, maybe he was wrong. It wasn’t for him, it was for Renjun. He was Mark’s first relationship after all. He sighs at the thought. It makes him laugh for feeling hurt because he knows how Mark and Renjun were back then. They all know they were better off as best friends. It left a huge embarrassing flush of red in their cheeks when they finally realized that they don’t really loved each other romantically. Especially when Renjun started developing a huge crush on Jaemin while Jeno was pinning on him. And when Donghyuck was constantly annoying Mark to get the older’s attention. It was a funny story.

“Jeno, I’m really dumb.” Donghyuck said again, as if realizing it just now.

“What did I tell you?” Jeno laughs. “My Injun said he’s also coming over. With Mark.” Donghyuck stiffened at that.

“Why Mark?” He asks. “I don’t know. To talk things out?” Jeno replies.

*

“Thanks for the ride.” Mark says as he bid Renjun goodbye. Jeno was walking towards them from Donghyuck and his apartment.

“We’re getting Jaemin! Oh, and Mark, please talk it out this time. No harsh words.” Jeno winked as he hopped on Renjun’s car. “It’s good to have you back, man.” Jeno continues and it makes Mark break a small smile.

*

Upon entering the apartment, there’s no sign of Donghyuck, so Mark walks straight to their bedroom where he knows the younger will be. He had always found him at the bed, cuddling his pillow whenever Mark returns from work before.

“Hey.” Mark says as he spots his target. Donghyuck is nestled on their duvet, face lighting up at the sight of Mark.

“Hey.” He says back with a small smile. It’s funny how Mark feels lighter than the hours before. It’s as if nothing had happened through the course of time. Carefully, he approached Donghyuck, eye contact never breaking. He sat by the end of their bed when a smile takes form on Donghyuck’s lips.

“So, you like Renjun now?” Of course, Mark thought. Donghyuck will tease him with that.

“I’ve always liked him though?” Mark teased back, earning a smile from the Donghyuck.

“I know. But you love me.” Donghyuck says with a wink and it made the Mark’s heart jump in his throat.

 

“I’m sorry.” Mark says, changing the topic quickly. Donghyuck hummed before asking, “What for?”

“For everything.” Mark said as he shuffles closer to his boyfriend. “For what I said that night.” He reached out for Donghyuck’s hand, intertwining them with his’ as he squeezed them hard. “For taking my anger out on you.” He continued as he used his free hand to caress Donghyuck’s cheeks. “And for not remembering you when I woke up that day.”

Donghyuck felt something struck his heart at Mark’s words. It felt painful but relieving. Simple but heavy on meaning. Donghyuck is tired of crying but he just can’t control his emotions, can’t he?

“No, no baby, It’s not your fault. I’m sorry too. I feel really bad, you know?” Donghyuck pulls Mark closer to him this time, enveloping him on a tight hug. He needs it, but Mark needs it more. “We’re both fools.” Donghyuck said with a sigh. He hears Mark giggle, and he can’t help but smile wider.

“Your flirting still sucks by the way.” Mark teasingly says as he pushed Donghyuck away, only to lean closer to let their lips touch. Mark can now name the emotions he felt for Donghyuck in the past months. The lingering gazes they both shared, the unconscious pining, the giddy feelings in his stomach. It was all because he is hopelessly in love with Donghyuck. “But then again, even with no memories, I still fell for you.” Mark tells Donghyuck as he halts the kiss they’re sharing, making them both smile from ear to ear. And then they laughed. Laughed then kissed, then laughed again. Mark’s heart swells in happiness. He will never get tired of this view. Donghyuck in his arms, smiling at him sweetly, as they get lost in the moment staring and being whipped for each other.

“That just proves that my flirting skills are superior!” Donghyuck shouts and Mark falls even deeper in love.


End file.
